I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
