We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
