my phone needs a breathalizer
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
