Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
