hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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