You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
