Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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