If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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