What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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