Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
