Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
