Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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