Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
