Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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