so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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