This house was built for laser tag.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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