I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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