we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
