I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
