For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
