Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
