Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
