Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I smell like Dick and happiness
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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