3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
