just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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