how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
