I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
