I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
