He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i think i just lost a toe
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
