I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
