But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
