Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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