Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
