so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
