plz talk dirty to me
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
