if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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