God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
