hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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