My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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