Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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