Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
