He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
