Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
