kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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