i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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