She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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