BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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