Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
