You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
