i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
