Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
