i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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