i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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