Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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